The Scientific Method
Thanks to the late-night IRC crew for audiencing. Feedback, positive or negative, welcome. Rated NC-17.

Clark tried to share all his thoughts and feelings about being an alien with his parents, he really did. But there were some things that even a good boy like him didn't know how to talk to his parents about. Like the way he'd felt, looking into the girls' locker room that one time.

Like the way he worried now all the time about whether...well, whether he was completely normal.

All over.

Even, you know, down there.

Clark hadn't gotten to play with other kids a lot when he was little. He was a farm kid. He knew all about what normal bull penises and horse penises looked like, but when it came to men, well...

He just didn't know. And he knew it was crazy, but ever since the thought had occurred to him that his might not be like everybody else's, he just hadn't been able to let it go. Sure, every part of him you could see looked human, but what if whoever had designed him had got lazy at the end? Or hadn't been able to see penises through telescopes, and had guessed wrong?

There were places in town that sold magazines, he thought, but probably just of girls. Also, their owners all knew his parents. He didn't think he could explain that one away as "trying to learn about his powers."

He could try checking someone out in the locker room, but if he got caught--man, the scarecrow thing would look tame in comparison. He could use his vision again, to check out his dad, or maybe Pete, but somehow the thought was even worse than asking. He really didn't want to start a career of looking through other guys' boxers.

Which left only one alternative.

Lex had always wanted to pay him back for pulling him out of the river. Clark just didn't know if getting him to check out his penis was asking for too much in return.

But he was sick of thinking about it nights (especially since that usually led to staying up even later and getting the sheets all messy), so he just opened his mouth one day when they were in Lex's office and brought it out.

The question, that is, not his penis.

Lex, however, looked almost as startled as if he had whipped out that particular body part. He was biting into an pear, and he dropped it, spit out the bit he had in his mouth, and started coughing.

Clark pounded him helpfully on the back. When Lex finally straightened up, he said, "I'm sorry, you want me to what?"

"To, uh, look at my penis," Clark said, shrinking back a little. "I just...I want to know if it's...normal."

Lex stared. "Is there some reason it wouldn't be?"

"Well, um, you know. I just. I just worry." He paused. "But, I mean, you don't *have* to--"

There was, however, a distinctly crazed glint in Lex's eye now. It was unsettling. "Oh, no. I'd do anything for you, Clark. Even engage in cock inspection. Off with your jeans."

"Off with my--" And suddenly Clark realized that in order to show Lex his penis--cock--whatever--he'd actually have to...show Lex his cock. Whoa. "I thought I could just..." He made an unzipping gesture.

"No, no," Lex said, very seriously, "we have to do this properly, or the results won't be scientific."

"Uh...okay." So he unzipped his jeans, and shimmied them down around his legs, finally bending over to extract his feet. That left...the boxers. Clark stared down at them, seeing in horror that apparently his cock was nowhere near as shy as he was, because it was doing a good job of making itself seen even through the fabric. "Can't you tell now?"

Lex was giving him a pretty thorough inspection, but he shook his head. "No. I mean, it could be the wrong color."

Right. Clark took a deep breath and just yanked the boxers down, leaving himself naked from the waist down in front of his best friend so he could check out his alien cock. That thought at least made him wilt a little, and he wondered if life was like this for anyone else. He stared at the ground, flushed, waiting. Lex remained silent for a long time, though, and finally Clark forgot to be embarrased and glanced up, demanding, "Well?"

Lex didn't seem to be breathing. His eyes were fixed on Clark. Oh, God, he thought, it must be worse than he'd imagined. It must be supposed to be blue or something. Or maybe have little horns or--damnit, he didn't know! "Lex? Lex, come on, tell me what's wrong!"

"I'm not sure, Clark." Lex sounded very distant. "I think I'd better check the texture."

"I can tell you what the texture is like, Lex--" And had he really just said that?

"Don't be silly, Clark. You can't translate something like that into words."

"But what would you compare it to--" Lex gave him a mildly exasperated look. "Oh. Yeah." Well, of *course* Lex did it, every guy did, it was just that he didn't exactly lay awake nights thinking about whether Lex Luthor jacked off--

And actually he might never think about anything, anything ever at all again, except the feeling of Lex's hand closing around his cock, carefully, as it was doing now. He swallowed a gasp, quelled the urge to jerk back in surprise. Or something. He hadn't expected it to be so...different from when he touched himself. So much more alive and tingling and out of control. Lex was feeling him up and down, only he'd forgotten to open his hand, so it was an awful lot like he was--and Clark sure was reacting like he was--"Lex! You're kind of--"

"I know," Lex said, like he was being silly again. "I need to see it in the erect state, too, you know."

Oh. Right. Clark really hadn't thought this out too well before he'd started, had he? Well, it was a good thing that Lex had, and knew what he needed, because he sure was getting it, and any other guy in school would probably have decked him by now.

Lex continued pumping him gently, giving him that crazy, trembling shiver all through him, and if Clark didn't know better, he'd say that Lex was used to this kind of thing. But that was just crazy talk. "OK, Lex, that's about it," he finally admitted reluctantly, hoping that it wasn't too much smaller than normal, or thinner, or anything. "How does it look?"

Lex pulled his hand away in one slow, final sweep, brushing his thumb over the head as he did, and Clark's hips did jerk that time, but the wrong direction. "Hmmmm," Lex said non-committally. "There's still the smell issue."

"Can't you...from there?" Clark said desperately.

Lex shook his head firmly. "Hold on." He knelt down in front of Clark, putting his hands on Clark's hips. For a minute, Clark did flash to a dirty picture he'd seen in the boys' locker room once--but that had a woman in front of the man, so it wasn't like this at all. No, not at all. Except that the feeling in his stomach was about the same both times, but no, that was just nerves. Who wouldn't be nervous, watching his best friend getting ready to stick his nose into his pubic hair?

He thought he was prepared to see Lex's head dive in, but he'd forgotten that he'd feel it, too: cool breath on his cock, and it was twitching like crazy, and he just hoped it didn't *whack* Lex, because what if *it* was strong like him, too?

"Sorry about knocking you through your stained glass window, Lex, I didn't realize my cock had superpowers" wouldn't really cut it, now, would it?

What was taking Lex so long? Clark was practically hopping up and down on the balls of his feet, an itchy feeling skittering up and down the back of his spine, not able to *stand* the regular flutter of air against his cock. "Lex, do you think you could hurry up?"

To his surprise, that got results. Lex did pull back, but just when Clark was about to sigh with relief or frustration or both, Lex changed his angle of approach and sucked Clark right into his mouth.

"Lex!" Clark howled, and his fingers scrabbled over his skull. Yank in--push out--something--"What are you doing?"

"Taste," Lex mumbled around him. "'Svery important...Hold still..."

Well, he couldn't exactly hold still, not with that mouth sweeping up and down on him, but Lex didn't seem to mind too much that he was thrusting into it, and after just a little while, Clark didn't mind, either. He had to give him a good taste, didn't he? All over the inside of his mouth...something like that...yeah...

He was only snapped back to reality by the feeling of tightening in his balls. "Oh, geez, Lex!" he yelled, fumbling for what to say, and finally just going with the flow. "I'm gonna come! Look out below!"

But Lex--Lex didn't pull back, he just sucked harder, and humming at him now, and Clark blasted into his mouth and fell over backwards. He was so dazed he even forgot to fake an "Ow!"

When he looked up to see if Lex had noticed, Lex was licking some from the corner of his mouth, a curious judging expression on his face, like he was tasting a wine or cheese or something. "God...Lex..."


"I just came in your mouth!"

"For scientific purposes, remember?" Lex stretched himself out next to Clark, putting his hand on his wrist to stop him from tucking his cock away.

"Oh, yeah." Right. "So. Tell me." He braced himself for the bad news, only slightly distracted by the way that Lex's fingers brushed over his stomach, his side pressed against his. "Is it...normal?"

"Well..." Lex considered. "I think it would be easier for me to show than to tell..."

And he started unbuttoning his own jeans.

Clark thought he was just curious, and that's why he investigated Lex's cock--just like his, as it turned out--as thoroughly as Lex had done his, but after he'd sucked Lex off again, he found himself forced to admit there was a little more to it.

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